Life is what you make it

So I have to say Thank you for all the kind comments and texts I received. They meant so much to me! My state of mind when I wrote my last blog was just awful! I was feeling down and honestly my attitude was just horrible! I was just mad at the world. I have since been doing lots of praying! Some pretty amazing things have transpired since then. I stumbled across a blog that really put things into perspective for me. Their was a verse in Hebrews 2:3 that stuck with me especially the word NEGLECT! I feel that was/is a big part of my problem. I have been neglecting my own needs and bending over backward for everyone else. In the end I am the only one suffering because of it. Also Brent and I watched the movie Fireproof. What an amazing eye opening movie that is:) I was moved to tears and just wanted to shout to the world how much I love being married to Brent and how proud I am that he is my husband. Since then I have really been trying to ask for more help and tell my feelings to others:) It seems to be helping so far. Not to mention the weather has been gorgeous here and I have been outside walking and spending time outdoors finally after the long Winter. What a difference that has made. Well I just wanted to let you all know I have been feeling great!! Have a wonderful and Blessed day:)

I am feeling blah:(

I have to say that although their are so many wonderful things going on around me all the time. I have so much to be thankful for. I have many great friends that are always their for me. A husband that is a rock. I still feel so unhappy at times:( I am just wondering if this is normal!! I get so tired of saying the same things to my husband and friends because I don't want them to think that I am this crazy lady:( don't know why I put so much pressure on myself to keep my feelings to myself:( At times I find it really hard to get through the day without feeling tired or drained or getting crabby. More than anything I want to be the best and most loving mommy. But I feel that I run out of patients so fast. I can't help but feel that their are so many other wife/mommy's that always have it all together and I somehow always fall short. I remember my sister saying to me at one time. "If we compare ourselves to everyone else we will always fall short somehow". I have to remember this. I just can't seem to put my finger on what is wrong with me lately. Its been so long since I have felt like myself and it only seems to be getting worse. I feel a little embarrassed even putting this in writing. But I am hoping with someone reading this they can give me advice? Or if its normal to feel this way? I swear I have more sad or cranky days than good ones lately and that just breaks my heart when I think of my kids and husband who deserve the best:( I have even thought that maybe seeing a counselor would help? But my husband doesn't seem to think I need one. I on the other hand aren't so sure....what other option do I have. I have put this all to prayer at least 20 times a day...and I am still at a loss. I just feel like I have no inner strength left. And I don't know where to start and where all this is coming from? So if any of you wonderful ladies have any encouraging words or similar stories please let me hear it!! Well that's it for now. ~Trisha

10 Goals for 2010!

I think that starting sometime during the summer I realize that their is something that I want to change, stop doing, start doing or learn how to do...and I say that is my 'Goal" next year. I am sure that I have forgotten half of them by now but here are the few that have stuck in my mind...whats left of it :)

10 .5) Really put effort into this Blog:) Oh the possibilities....

10.) Be more aggressive/outspoken. I tend to stay quiet when I should speak up!

9.) Get more organized...this is hard. Because I am a CLOSET neat freak! I try to play it off that the messy toys and hubby clutter doesn't bother me but it DOES!

8.) Have a date night once a month. We used to do this but with each child it gets a little bit more difficult! I miss it so much:)

7.) Say NO!!! I tend to sign up/volunteer for way too much! At times it is overwhelming!!

6.) Stay on track financially:) This is my favorite! I love working with a budget. We are getting really good at it. First was cutting up the credit cards, now we are just about done paying them off...and now its onto saving $$$!

5.) This goes along with #6...adding $$ to the girls' Savings acct.s This is now going to be added officially into the budget. We always put Birthday/Holiday $ in their accts. but now I want to add a little each month no matter what:)

4.) Me time:) I love this thought! I need a little me time more often...once a day I will try to either take a cat nap, hot bath, read a little or just do NOTHING at all!

3.) Take a vacation....we need one and deserve it!!!

2.) Be in the moment...this is so hard for me. My husband is the most content and calm person that I know. I want to be a little more like that. I tend to get stressed, and worried about a lot of things that aren't in my control. I want to stay centered and realize nothing is as bad as it seems.

1.) Work on my relationship with God. I am enjoying my bible study...and this journey and I want to continue it.

My baby girl;)

My youngest daughter Sadie Mae is turning 8 months young tomorrow! I'm SO in LOVE with this sweet little baby girl! Her personality is really starting to come out and she is sweet as can be:) She has her two bottom teeth and has perfected sitting up and also can wave hi, shake her head no (go figure lol!) and rolls all over the living room! This is her very first Christmas and she loves to look at the Christmas tree and all the pretty lights on it. We bought her first ornament that is perfect for her. It is a little tiara with sequins all over it and it says Sadie's first Christmas 2009:) Here are the most recent pictures of her. Have a wonderful day!

Round 2

For those of you who know my sweet Allie she isn't shy;) She has always LOVED to be on stage and perform. She loves to dance and sing and of course CHEER! Last year she decieded she wanted to go out for her first pageant. We thought it was a wonderful idea. She was only 13 but we thought it would be perfect for her. She blew us all away on stage. I get so happy when I think of that day she was amazing! She ended up taking the title and was the Jr. Miss AppleFestival 2008. She recently crowned a new Jr. Miss and decided she wanted to try out for another pageant. This pageant is from another county and is much larger than our home town Apple Festival. She went out November 22nd for Teen Blossomtime and competed against 25 other beautiful girls. She was so excited and confident. She was just glowing all day. Well we were so proud when we saw her walk back out on stage as they announced the TOP 10 contestants. Then to all our amazement she was crowned 1st Runner Up Teen Blossomtime! She was just thrilled as were we. I can't put into words how proud I am of the young woman she is becoming. I can't believe my little Allie is now 15! Congrats to you my beautiful girl. We have quite the year to look foward to!

Being in the moment

Let me just tell you that I LOVE when I go to Church and everything the Pastor is saying hits home! For months I have been dealing with WANTING to slow down. Slow down my busy schedule and just enjoy being in the moment. Well at Church on Sunday the message was "Christmas Chaos" How to have a simple Christmas. This is just what I needed to hear. Not only for Christmas but for my life in general. I have been praying and pondering on some things that the Pastor said during his sermon. For example at Christmas you have to remember their is "No Perfect Family" and no "Perfect" Christmas. So have realistic expectations about it all! I can understand that completely and in a broad spectrum that is also LIFE in general isn't it? Their is no "Perfect Family" and no "Perfect life" BE REALISTIC. Something else that was so nice to hear and believe me I NEED to work on this one...You don't have to do it all!! Go to every family member's house for Christmas, go to every Christmas party and so on. Again in real life I need to practice this. I have to remember that I don't have to go to every event or playdate/party. Don't get me wrong I love to get out spend time with all my friends and have playdates and storytime. But at times for me it can get a little chaotic. I realize more and more I love to be at home with my little ones just as much as getting out. Wise words from my Pastor. "DON'T trade calm for chaos." In saying all this...it just hit me what my New Year's Resolution will be:) I am going to slow down and SIMPLIFY as much as a I can. I will take baby steps...believe me this won't be easy. I just realize now that my 4th baby is approaching the 8month mark very quickly how fast time goes and I just want to be in the moment with them:) Well that's all for now. Good day and many Blessings to you all!!!!!

Fall is in the air...

Well this morning I awoke to rain, wind and chilly fall air. Just like that over night. This time last week we had 80's! I think today we just made it to 60? I really hope that we still have some warm days ahead for us. Fall is beautiful and so comfy feeling. I love cooking meals in the crock pot and drinking hot tea or or hot chocolate and curling up with a good book. I love to hear the rain and wind at night and cuddle up to Brent.

And I LOVE the fall clothes. The sweaters and jeans and boots...and jackets! I love jackets!! This is always an exciting time for the family. We love the Holidays! I love to decorate for fall Harvest, which I hope to get started on tomorrow. I love all the cute little pumpkins and scarecrows. Nothing scary! I love to take our girls' trick or treating:) I actually have all their costumes already:) Abbie and Macy are going to be adorable little witches with little bright tutu's:) So cute. And Sadie will be a bumble bee. Now if Allie can only decide if she will be dressing up or not. Every year for the past 3 years she has said NO WAY! Then at the last minute she wants to dress up and we are running around like crazy people trying to get a costume! Teenagers:)

Their is also a very special day in October that is so dear to our hearts. Our little Macy will turn 4 on October 22nd!! That should be a wonderful day:) She gets to bring a birthday snack to preschool. And she wants to bring pumpkin cupcakes. And then she doesn't know that I have a little surprise planned for her. Her daddy is going to meet us for lunch and I am going to invite some friends of hers too:) So my goal is to just enjoy the fall and all the beauty and excitement it holds. And not EVEN let myself THINK about what comes after fall...yes the "W" word:(